One of my pink ribbon sisters posted this on facebook as her status: "I still hate looking in the mirror!"
I completely identify with that feeling. Not many women look into a mirror and like the reflection they see. But as a breast cancer survivor... I have LIVED that pain for a long time. And I am truly saddened by it and tired of it.
There was a long stretch of time after my treatment ended where I could not look at myself in the mirror. At least not all of me at the same time. I could look at my face just fine. I could look at my body in pieces. Or without keeping my face in my vision. If I caught a glimpse of my entire body -- getting out of the tub or the shower -- I would burst into tears. The scars, the new boobie, the burns, the change in my skin color... it was simply too much to take at one time.
And then one day I felt bold enough to challenge myself to look at my whole body every day for at least 5 minutes. It took me weeks to work up to that much time. It took me months of looking at myself before I stopped sobbing uncontrollably. I am more comfortable in my skin now. I can take pictures of myself in my bathing suits and bikinis without that same feeling of pain. (I do still cringe but that's because I need to work out, laughs)
I believe that the more comfortable I became with the sight of my nakedness, the more comfortable I was in my clothes. And the more comfortable I was engaging with other people. It took me a long time before I realized that when people look at me, they cannot tell that I've been through a war. It is my secret. At least until I'm ready to share it.
If you're struggling with your body image... take some time every day to look at yourself. Withhold all judgement against yourself. And eventually work your way up to giving yourself honest compliments about your body. It really makes a difference.
There was a long stretch of time after my treatment ended where I could not look at myself in the mirror. At least not all of me at the same time. I could look at my face just fine. I could look at my body in pieces. Or without keeping my face in my vision. If I caught a glimpse of my entire body -- getting out of the tub or the shower -- I would burst into tears. The scars, the new boobie, the burns, the change in my skin color... it was simply too much to take at one time.
And then one day I felt bold enough to challenge myself to look at my whole body every day for at least 5 minutes. It took me weeks to work up to that much time. It took me months of looking at myself before I stopped sobbing uncontrollably. I am more comfortable in my skin now. I can take pictures of myself in my bathing suits and bikinis without that same feeling of pain. (I do still cringe but that's because I need to work out, laughs)
I believe that the more comfortable I became with the sight of my nakedness, the more comfortable I was in my clothes. And the more comfortable I was engaging with other people. It took me a long time before I realized that when people look at me, they cannot tell that I've been through a war. It is my secret. At least until I'm ready to share it.
If you're struggling with your body image... take some time every day to look at yourself. Withhold all judgement against yourself. And eventually work your way up to giving yourself honest compliments about your body. It really makes a difference.
