The worst advice I've received as a survivor

I was recently asked, "what was the worst advice you received as a breast cancer survivor?"

*blink, blink*

Uh... short answer?  I have no FLIPPIN' clue. Seriously.

Here's why:  Soooo many people have said so many things that felt (to me) really insensitive and crazy that I'm not sure that I can isolate one that was worse than any other.

But, none of the questions were intentionally mean-spirited or harsh. Just perhaps ill-timed, or clueless about the realities of going through breast cancer treatment.

I think that one thing I heard a lot that was pretty useless to me -- especially when I was in treatment -- was the line, "my grandmother, aunt, next door neighbor, old lady at the grocery store, blah blah blah... died from breast cancer."

*blink*

I have heard a lot of variables of this. I suspect that I always will. But typically, it is offered as a filler for the silence that follows when I say... "I am a breast cancer survivor".

Let me be honest, I feel for you if you've lost a loved one to breast cancer. I am deeply sorry for your loss. I mean that.

I think that breast cancer is an awful disease and the families that are devastated when a loved one is diagnosed or passes from the disease break my heart.

But when someone is IN treatment for breast cancer (actively taking chemotherapy, radiation therapy, breast surgeries, etc.) the news that someone else died from the disease does nothing to keep our spirits up. It only reminds us just how vulnerable we are and how frightening all of this is.

I'm not sure that your goal is to make a sick person feel worse about being sick. 

So... if you can refrain from reminding a breast cancer survivor that death is possible... I think it will do a lot of help the mindset of the person trying to beat the disease. Just a thought...