My Marion Barry story

Marion Barry, Mayor For Life

Former DC mayor, Marion Barry passed away last night. For most of the world, he was a bit of a political buffoon. A joke to some. But here in the DMV (DC, Maryland, Virginia) he was an icon.

He was a polarizing figure but many great men and women of history are just that. I don't hold that against him.

I grew up in Maryland and I was jealous that I didn't grow up in DC because by living across the street from SE, DC... I was ineligible for the DC Summer Youth Work Program. I knew so many young friends who had a summer youth job... and I wanted one. That's my first memory of "Mayor-for-life" Marion Barry.

Growing up here, living here my entire adult life...I tell you honestly that you will be hard pressed to find a native Washingtonian who doesn't have a MayorMarionBarry (all one word) story. He was an intricate part of the fabric of this region for decades. Chocolate city WAS his home and he was loved here as though he was a native son.

When I got to college and decided to study political science, and began to understand what grassroots politics was about... and the more I learned about the civil rights movement in this country... I could then put into context how Marion Barry operated and what his goals were for the black citizens of Washington, DC.

Long before DC became the very diverse melting pot of privilege that it is now, DC was home to a lot of very poor, very under-served and often forgotten black people. They had no money and no political power. Marion Barry made the political process realistic for those residents. He connected the dots between what happened in Congress with what happened on their streets. Keep in mind that DC is not a state. It doesn't have the same autonomy as the states in this country.

The video that changed everything... 

Once the video emerged of him smoking crack cocaine in a hotel room... his image was tarnished in a way that destroyed a lot of his accomplishments for many people. It was embarrassing for a long time to tell someone that you were from DC. The jokes about smoking crack with the mayor were relentless. But he kept his head up throughout the turmoil... and his constituents did too. He was re-elected to mayor after he got out of jail. People around the country (and the world) did not understand that and they felt that the voters in DC weren't intellectually savvy enough to comprehend what a terrible thing it was to reelect this man as mayor.

What they didn't realize was that Marion Barry had already done so much for the residents that he really was the "Mayor for Life".

When everyone you meet has a story about someone, and it is a story of something good that person did, or how they showed up at an event that wasn't filled with celebrities and superstars but just regular folks... how he remembered working with them, or meeting them in passing... that impact makes a difference. And honestly, that type of personal connection is missing from a lot of politicians today in my opinion.

The people LOVE HIM and that won't change. 

Marion Barry wasn't an angel. He wasn't perfect by any stretch. But he was human and he was reachable. And for a disenfranchised community of people that most other politicians ignored... that accessibility meant everything.

I didn't meet the man in person until late in his life. Both times were in passing but still left an impact on me.

When you meet a legend... you're going to remember it.

I saw him once at a really tiny bar/lounge in DC. I was out with my then-boyfriend and his mother. We went to a party for one of her friends and while we were sitting at this very non-descript location he strolled in. Just like that. One man. No entourage. No fan fare. Just... "Mayor for Life".

(I say that a lot because we really do refer to him that way)

He knew most of the people there. They all seemed to be old friends. He stayed for awhile, chatted with everyone aand seemed right at home. For me, it was kind of surreal. But it wasn't the last time I'd have that surreal feeling.

About 8 months into my treatment for breast cancer (after my chemo and after my mastectomy) I was invited to a beautiful cancer gala by my oncology center. It was a beautiful event even though I didn't feel beautiful that night. I went with my mother and just a couple of tables away from us was Marion Barry. Read: home from the gala... and i miss cleavage and v-neck tops

My impression of him that night was that he was (finally) looking older. Perhaps it was the context of the event, but compared to how he appeared on television and even compared to how he looked just the year before when I saw him at the lounge, he appeared really tired. I think that at the time I saw him at the gala he had been having some health issues. I know how that can drain you of your pep as well. My mother and I both felt very fancy to be invited to an event that was attended by Mayor-for-life. In hindsight, we shouldn't have. He was truly a man for all people. Seeing him anywhere should never be surprising.

I have so many close personal friends who knew him personally, worked with him, were taught by him and who give him so much credit for where they are in life. One of the amazing things about him was that he remembered everyone. If he met you once, he remembered you. No one was a stranger. Do you understand how amazing that is? How many people do you meet in the course of a year? Do you remember them all? Marion would not only remember people he met in passing, he would remember details about them.

I can barely remember last month.

Hearing of his death this morning was a surprise. He was charismatic, funny and enterprising. He was a slickster... to me... but it was also a part of his charm. Watching my friends grieve and share their memories and pictures of him has been amazing. I believe that he lived a really full and large life, so while surprising this news doesn't sadden me.

I send my condolences to his family, friends and constituents. From sharecropping in Mississippi to 4 terms as the Mayor of the Nation's Capital... is a long and highly significant journey.

Marion Barry was an interesting character. Human and fallible like all of us. But I do think that at his core, he wanted the best for the city residents. For me, that's the memory of him that will remain in my spirit.

Rest in peace Mr. Mayor.

I'll be certainly picking up his latest book Mayor for Life: The Incredible Story of Marion Barry, Jr. because with all that I do know, I am sure that there is more that I don't know. I'd love to see how he viewed his own life's journey.